its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
