please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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