i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
