No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
