Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be still, my beating vagina.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize