In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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