Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
