my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
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