I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
