That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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