Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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