dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
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