He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
