i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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