Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
