Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
