wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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