So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize