Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize