Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Randomize
