How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
