I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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