Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
The best revenge is premature balding
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
