from now on my penis is your penis
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
