We won't sleep together?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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