can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
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She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
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If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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