thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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