They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
