Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
pray to the hookup gods
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
