She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
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I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
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30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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