You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
