i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
