a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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