Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
