In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
