he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
