it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
We got so high we made milksteak
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
