just come out here and I will go home with you...
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
