before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
