I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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