if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
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sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
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I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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