Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
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The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
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Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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