guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize