my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
