i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
