so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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