Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
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