On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
