Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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