He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize