I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
