we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
