just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
