i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize