So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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