What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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