My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
