The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
