there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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