John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
