We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
