Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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